Today marks 1 year since the premiere of Kamakshi – A dancer’s journey within. As I look back, all that stands out is how blessed I am to have had the opportunity to celebrate my grandmother Kamakshi Jayaraman. While my small offering did no justice to her and the legacy she leaves behind, I am grateful that I was able to show her how she touches lives. Through the love and support of all her students, we were able to show her how many lives she has touched.

10 August 2019, 6pm & 830pm.
At the end of evening, by the time everything wrapped up, I got home around midnight. Paati had gone home earlier along with my parents, and I had not gotten a chance to speak to her after the show. As I went home, thinking about the mistakes I made and how things could have been better, I realised that it was late; Paati would have gone to sleep, and I would have to wait till morning to talk to her.

When I got home, I asked Amma, and she indicated toward Paati’s room, telling me she was still awake. As I entered her room to get her blessings before proceeding to talk to her, she brought me into a warm embrace. “Eppadi Thoongardu Kuttyma?”, she grinned.

I can still hear her voice as she said

Yenna Ivlo Thooki Vecchitiye Kuttyma.

Yenna ippadilaam notice pannirkaiya nee?

Despite everything she has done, and all her contributions, I placed her on a pedestal with my small offering??
That night will always stay with me as a constant reminder about humility. She was never one to talk about the things she had achieved and she maintained her focus on her life’s primary purpose – Seva.

She was and is, my strength. Many times in the last few months, I realised what a huge luxury I had lost – the luxury to call and ask her even the silliest of things when in doubt. The luxury of hearing her voice. Many times in these last few months, I’ve felt lost and missed my best friend, missed her guidance. But in classic Kamu fashion, she always finds a way to guide me.

I am so fortunate, that she was there all 4 times I got to perform Kamakshi. 
Twice in Singapore, once in Coimbatore and Chennai.

I am blessed to have had the opportunity to celebrate her.

Filled with Gratitude

Aravinth Kumarasamy, for creating the opportunity to be a part of the residency program in Dance India Asia Pacific 2018.

Smt. Priyadarsini Govind & Smt. Anjana Anand
Through the creative process of Kamakshi, I was very fortunate to have been guided and mentored by Priya akka and Anjana Akka. Their guidance was instrumental in the creation of this production. I am ever grateful to have had the opportunity to learn from them and to take a peek into their creative minds.

The Orchestra
Chitra Poornima (Vocal & Music Composition), Lakshmi Krishnan (Nattuvangam), Trivandrum D Rajagopal (Mridangam) and Pavan Sugosh (Violin).

With their experience and expertise in their respective fields, they guided me and exposed me to perspectives of thinking that added colour to the production. 

My ever patient and supportive Teacher, Sujatha Rajagopalan for giving me strength and motivation.

The Temple of Fine Arts, and Annalakshmi Teams, who provided irreplaceable support from rehearsals till the show day.

My friends Varsha Vishwanath, Swathi Satish and Vetrivelan Gunasegaran, who held the fort, and helped put together everything ensuring the show went on smoothly.

My parents, sisters, brother-in-laws and family, for their unwavering belief in me.

My guiding light Swami Shantanand Saraswathi.